Contrary to popular beliefs, showcasing your heart on your sleeve is not a weakness. In reality, it's a show of strength that enables you to be in tune with your emotions and exhibit vulnerability. And talking is one way to express our emotions and to lay it out in the open.
When I first listened to Susan David's TED Talk, on 'The gift and power of emotional courage' it had truly stumped me. She mentioned that in an interview she conducted among 70,000, a third of them judged themselves for the 'negative emotions' that they experienced. They would actively shove it aside, not acknowledge or misconstrue it. They even resorted to shaming others for showcasing the 'bad' emotions.
In my head, I believed the statistics were skewed or there was a mistake somewhere. Haven't we come a long way towards prioritizing mental heath and reducing the stigma around it? Perhaps the results weren't true representation of the world that we live in. With that, I pushed the matter away, out of sight out of mind.
A few months later, I had been having a really rotten day. I was slowly developing a migraine and was stretched thin, and on the verge of collapse. An inquisitive colleague passed my desk, and immediately noticed the state that I was in. He innocently inquired to me what's wrong. And I responded how I would always respond to such queries, 'Work stress'. And this was a Eureka moment for me!
And therein lays the crux of the matter. As easy as it was for me to mislabel my emotions, rather than let's say I voice out my frustration, anger and disappointment regarding the work, I could easily sweep it under the rug by saying its's just stress and not over-analyse or face it. And my answer would also be treated as face value by the people around me. Thus, disenfranchising my emotions and essentially my mental health. Mind blown!
Words are a prerequisite on how we describe our feelings. By labeling our emotions accurately and having the skill to peel the extra layers off, and seeing the truth for what it is would allow us to acknowledge and accept it. According to researchers, radical acceptance of our emotions would enable us to foster bounce-backability, flourish and attain authentic happiness.
Talking about emotions comes easier for some and for others, it is an uncharted archipelago. 1. You should not be forcing the conversation to happen or even plot an architectural map to get from A - Z. Emotions are fluid and free flowing, thus allow it to happen naturally and on it's own time. Perhaps in a more laid back setting, when you are feeling relaxed and more open to sharing.
2. If you can't find the words emotions, use whatever that comes to your mind. It does not have to be perfectly constructed sentences as long as it conveys the tone and message. Remember the feel of the emotions in you at that moment and ask yourself; how did your body react to it? when and how did it arise? how did your mind/social environment react to it? what does it make you feel like doing? how did you overcome it?.
3. Choosing the right companion that listens to you is key. Talk to someone is an impassioned listener that holds no bias or preconceived notions. This could either be a therapist or a family member or friend. Ask them for a few minutes of their time and gently explain the purpose and intention of the talk.
4. Desensitizing yourself towards talking about emotions. By constantly talking about everyday mundane emotions, it would get us used to talking about it and eliminate the novel feeling attached to it. By practicing to express simpler emotions such as 'This ice cream makes me happy' would remove the fear out of talking about emotions.
holding the listener accountable for your emotions
forcing a reluctant listener to hear your emotions
persistently rehashing an event which only serves to embolden your negative feelings
sending mixed body language's r facial expression to the listener, such as laughing when you are sad or jealous
banking on others to share the same feeling you do
ordering others to feel the same as you are doing
Below is an emoji emotion template that I have designed, to be used to showcase emotions in a more light-hearted and eccentric way . Feel free to download it and tag me at #colloquialisms_with_yourself on Instagram once you have filled it up with the necessary emojis.
The ability to express and talk about emotions is an essential tool for everyone. It only becomes better with practice, so keep working on the tips that I have posted here. And let me know as well, if you have any other tips on how to your share your emotions.
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